Metamorphosis: Childhood Fantasies to Adult Realities
As a young boy, I had always imagined what life would be like as an adult. I am sure every one of us had some kind of mental image. I vividly remember the exhilarating feeling of cycling down the rolling roads, my imagination soaring as I longed for adulthood and its promises of unlimited freedom. I would see other adults and think, oh, being an adult means unlimited freedom. Nobody to tell you what to do, when to do it. Nobody to tell you when you can go to sleep or what you can eat. What an advantage!
As I grew up a bit the picture did change. I had learned the use of money. I imagined that being an adult brought with it the perks of owning a wallet and actually having money in it. Money, to do anything I like, spend it on chips, chocolates, toys, or books. This led to an interesting deal with my grandfather.
When I was 10, my grandfather used to ensure that I dressed impeccably for school. He was a wonderful man who valued cleanliness and punctuality. He adored me and ensured that he was passing on every bit of wisdom he had to me. One of his major duties (that he had taken upon himself) was to polish my sleek black shoes every night. This way I would look like a proper, well-dressed student every morning. At school, looking at the other kids, my little brain couldn’t fathom what a privilege it was. Later, during my high school years, when I had moved away from home, I did not have the same cushion to fall back. I was doing my own chores and I learnt to appreciate him even more.
When I was 12 or 13 years old, I realized what having some pocket money meant. I was quick to act upon it. I approached my grandfather, or Dada as I used to call him, with a simple and ingenious proposal. Every time I cleaned my shoes, he would have to pay me two rupees. Delighted, he accepted. I managed to pinch an old wallet from Dad, and I used to keep my hard-earned money concealed from prying eyes. As I grew up a bit older, I began to demand pocket money from him. I knew if I approached my dad or mom, they would say just tell us what I need. One of their favorite dialogues was, “আমাদের সব টাকা তো তোর ই”, which translates to, “Whatever money we have is going to be yours”. So, I had to approach my grandfather. It started with 20 rupees per month and when I was almost 16, my monthly allowances reached 150 rupees. A meticulous man, he always noted down his expenses in his little diary. It used to amuse me and impress me at the same time.
I was fortunate to have been raised by wonderful parents who taught me the significance of financial responsibility and made me believe we were well-off. However, it wasn’t until later that I discovered we weren’t millionaires. I would go on to learn that money needs to be earned through blood and sweat and that a penny saved is a penny earned.
There came a point in my school life when my academic achievements became everything. At this point, the rosy picture of childhood changed again. I was blessed with a sharp mind, and I ended up doing quite well in academics and being among the toppers. The pressure was there, and I would dream of a time when I did not have to study. Whoever I spoke to assured me that that point would come in a few years. And this was repetitive — middle school, high school and even college! Amidst the pressures of academic excellence and the pursuit of independence, I grappled with the weight of expectations and the evolving understanding of my own identity.
Let us re-evaluate the picture of adulthood at that point in my life — unlimited freedom, money and no studies. Boy, was I wrong in every aspect!
While my early years were marked by a sense of freedom and innocence, the realities of responsibility and financial awareness soon began to dawn on me. When I was 16 and moved out of my parent’s house for higher studies, reality hit me in the face like a speeding truck. As it happens with everyone who moves away for studies, I moved from a small town to a big city. The hustle and bustle, the big shops and streams of traffic mesmerized me. Several unfortunate incidents underscored the reality of my limited finances, highlighting the importance of responsibility. For instance, dropping my phone into the toilet bowl served as a stark reminder of the need for caution. I was also the victim of several minor thefts — sometimes money, sometimes books. I had some freedom to work with, but the money and studies were a continuous itch.
For my graduation, I moved further away from home and to an even bigger city — New Delhi, the capital of our country. This brought with it a welcome gift of an increased allowance. My not-so-impressionable mind thought this was an opportunity to save money and buy things I wanted to and do things for which I couldn’t go to my parents. Again, life hit me with a reality check when someone pinched four thousand rupees from my bag and another time when a lowly pickpocket dared to pinch my phone while I was travelling in the metro. Studies too, got a lot tougher and still, even after four years of leaving home, I worried about money and my studies. By the end of it I was so fed up with what I was studying and the sheer amount of it, I was desperate to jump ships, in the hopes that it would be easier and less time-consuming.
I was lucky to secure a place in post-graduation for the kind of course I was looking for. Something which would ensure that I had a job at the end of it and the course itself would not be too hard. I swear, even if we studied a day before the exam, we would all pass with good grades. It may be me projecting my absorbing capabilities onto every other student, but you get the idea. Life seemed pretty good. The upcoming prospect of adulthood appeared enticing, the promise of financial freedom was within my grasp. The picture I had painted as a child seemed achievable.
A recurring theme of my life was the constant reality checks. These made me evaluate and second-guess the things I thought to be true or took for granted. After cracking my campus interviews and getting placed for a job, I thought I was set for life. I was about to be financially independent. I was about to have the freedom to do everything I pleased and there would be no more studies! I was not completely wrong. Although now I had money to buy silly things that tickled my fancy, the life experiences of my time away from home had hammered in me the fact that money can slip away from my palm at an alarming pace. I learned to be thrifty. I learnt to be responsible. I realized the freedom I was dreaming about was less exciting and lonelier. I started appreciating life where my parents would be close to me. And regarding the studies that I was avoiding like the plague, I realized that there is no end to it! Something new is coming up every day and without mastering it, I would be left behind everyone else in my workplace.
After spending almost 5 years as a working adult, I have become humbler and more realistic in my approach. As I reflect on the winding path that led me to where I am today, I realize that adulthood is not just about freedom and financial stability, but about embracing the journey with humility, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to personal growth.
